1. |
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When they see you coming they stumble across the street
They measure balls in inches, yours they do in feet
You’ll fight at any bar, chew broken glass for fun
If it’s shit they’re looking for, they should know that you give none
Cuz you’re the baddest motherfucker
The meanest in town
Cuz you’re the baddest motherfucker
Anyone in your way is going down
You robbed the cheater for his money, the dealer for his bud
The rebel for his cause, the fighter for his blood
Guitar on your shoulder, you carry it with pride
They look on you with envy cuz their woman’s by your side
Come to your city, ain’t no time to fuck around
Or they’ll be shitting bricks six feet under the ground
No littering or stealing unless they pay what’s due
No one ‘round here’s breaking laws unless that guy is you
Cuz you’re the baddest motherfucker
The meanest in town
Cuz you’re the baddest motherfucker
Anyone in your way is going down
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2. |
Frank The Snake
07:02
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Well my lady she caught me with that other love of mine
With that green eyed Miss Jameson that I see all the time
Oh she told me that I better clean my act up right
Or old Frank would be holding a cup when he died
Did you contemplate it?
Then maybe you would know your mind
I didn’t contemplate it
Won’t make it ‘til the end of time
Driving for one hundred miles downing whiskey sours
Crashed my car into a tree at a hundred miles an hour
Found a snake and name him Frank, taught me how to walk again
Frank who kept me company, ‘til I could learn to talk again
Did you contemplate it?
Then maybe you would know your mind
I didn’t contemplate it
Won’t make it ‘til the end of time
Well I had my drink and I had Frank. That was all I needed
But when my cup was empty, I found out I’d been deceived
Turned on Frank when I wound up in the path of an angry trucker
Frank, my buddy, was a stick. Here comes the end motherfucker
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3. |
Hell Tours, Inc.
04:54
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Welcome to Hell Tours Incorporated
Please keep flash photography to a minimum and stay with the group at all times
If you happen to be set ablaze do not stop, drop, and roll
As that will only make things worse
Right this way. Our trip begins
To the netherworld built from mortal sin
See the rafting ride through the River Stix
The bog of feces, quite the potent mix
Abandon all hope
Ye who enter here
Welcome to inferno
See the gift shop in the rear
Men of greed buried in coin
Lustful live without their loins
Heretics flayed from head to groin
What pure evil in the city of dis
Crown you in sorrow and bathe you in piss
Now a special guest, it’s the prince of liars
You are all condemned to eternal fire
Abandon all hope
Ye who enter here
Welcome to inferno
See the gift shop in the rear
You’ve only yourself to blame
Never play the devil’s game
Now drown in a sea of flame
Thank you for riding with Hell Tours Incorporated
We are not held liable for any impaling, sodomy, raping, or intestinal distress
Please take a cyanide lollipop on the house
And we hope you’ve enjoyed your visit this evening
Cuz you’re staying forever
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4. |
Lugh
04:35
|
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5. |
Funk Sista
03:33
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So there I was, just playing my guitar
In a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty bar
She took a gamble on my one man band
I needed all kinds of help and she gave me a hand
She moved all my gear right out the back door
With nothing to fear I’ll give her what she asked for
I funked your sister
Now we’re in the truck and she wants to hear
What I gotta say. Now show wants a beer
At the private show she was ready to rock
I was ready to go. I whipped out my… Jams!
I funked your sister
So there I was, just playing my guitar
In a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty bar
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6. |
Live To Fuck Another Day
05:47
|
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I was having a good time ‘til you walked in the door
Didn’t expect to see his daughter naked on the floor
Now he’s coming at me with a 2x4
But I’m still coming yeah, I’m coming back for more
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
Came back next Thursday at a quarter past eight
‘Cuz she said that they were coming home late
But I heard voices, they were coming down the hall
Guess they weren’t coming home late after all
Who should walk in the door, but Sally from last week
She started hollering, but I could hardly speak
Down on her sister playing twister with my tongue
And now the window’s the only place left to run
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
Live (to fuck!) another day
|
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7. |
Blood, Sweat and Sin
05:42
|
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The sun sets behind the dusty town
The place I’ll die once it’s all gone down
Soaking in blood, sweat and sin
I cock my colt and start riding in
Too late to pray, repent
I’m the demon of vengeance
Just like the days before your birth
Return your body to the earth
Too late to pray, repent
I’m the demon of vengeance
Just like the days before your birth
Return your body to the earth
Parched throat and the devil’s thirst
Led me to the saloon first
I’m looking for drink to drink and smoke to smoke
And women folk
With a harlot by my side
With a soft face and familiar eyes
Leads me to the fireside
For a night’s reside
In the waking light my nostrils sting
I’ve been bound and doused in kerosene
The girl leans in close, match in hand
You killed my papa on his own damn land
You shot him, you shot him down
In front of my very eyes
Now you son of a bitch
It’s your time to die
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8. |
FTS Reprise
03:33
|
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|
N/A
|
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Tacklesnatch New York, New York
We are the best, we passed the test.
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